Captain Sullenberger focused on his instruments as he rotated the aircraft skyward. He had thousands of hours of flight experience but still piloted each takeoff as though it was his first, using careful, precise movements, maintaining constant vigilance, and monitoring critical gauges and indicators. He initiated a banking maneuver to swing the plane to the east—
“SULLY! BIRD STRIKE!” his copilot screamed.
With a sigh he released the joystick, removed his headphones, and hit the Pause button, freezing the Xbox Flight Simulator image.
“Yes, dear. Just a minute.”
He pulled a spray bottle of Windex and a roll of paper towels from underneath the kitchen sink, put on his flip-flops and walked outside and around back to the master bedroom windows. He wiped the fresh droppings from the glass and peered inside at his wife, reclining on the bed with a magazine.
“Friggin’ birds,” he muttered.
“Upon Further Review…Wait, What?”
I have a recommendation for the 2018 football season that I believe would improve NFL television ratings, enhance the fan experience, and possibly increase stadium attendance.
Most teams now engage in league-approved, premeditated touchdown celebrations. Many are creatively choreographed and involve multiple players. Some of these are terrific fun, others, not so much.
My New Rule: If a touchdown is overturned after video review, the scoring player and his supporting cast must return to the end zone and repeat their touchdown celebration performance, in reverse.
This would compensate fans for enduring long, irritating delays for official reviews, create additional game highlights, and be great fun to watch.
“Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.” — Steve Martin